


a love of the rack and the screw

by emeriin



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Gen, Kidnapping, References to Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-29 20:30:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12092832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeriin/pseuds/emeriin
Summary: Cryper is terrible, but I love them being foils for each other, and their childhoods are the best comparison.





	a love of the rack and the screw

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweet_witch_hella_knight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/gifts).



Numb was not a feeling that Hyper was used to. She could deal with being away from wooble on tour, or hide a freak out when disagreeing with him that the original plan of Padme going off to kill Anakin at the end was "kinda missing the point of the series honey".

But this was different. He'd insulted her parents, not even in a yelling way, and told her gruffly but sadly to call him when "she realized they were abusive scumfuckers". But they weren't! She didn't understand what Devil Boner was doing and she couldn't even cry over it. If it was over then she couldn't even go under a plane, just sit and exist until sweet death.

She called Bill first. If he was on her side then surely Boner would realize his mistake.

"Billy honey, Devil Boner was an ass and said my parents were bad!"

A pause that she didn't like. "mmm-hmm."

"Wait… are you agreeing with him?"

"mmm-hmm."

She pressed the hang up button as hard as she could, feeling betrayed by yet another man in her life. Maybe she should just run off to the UK with Harley and convince Tamara to leave her job.

But she tried Benny, who was deep down in hell again. Did he have a hot demonette on the side maybe?

"Beeeenny," she sniffed when he picked up the phone. "Boney hurt me."

"What did he do," he growled. "I'll shave his head while he sleeps."

"He said I had abusive parents."

Yet another pause. "Oh. Joan…"

She knew exactly what using her birth name meant and she didn't want to hear it. She threw the phone against the wall and cringed when the fragile covering broke.

There was one guy left who she knew had to agree with her, but he was tied up right now. Literally. They'd lashed Critic to his chair earlier in the morning with a cute pink ballgag when Devil Boner had still given a shit about her.

Maybe it was time to go back to her true love, he'd gloat and scorn but probably be happier.

She let his mouth free and gave him a small slap awake. "Critic I need you." She hoped he would get the double meaning.

Critic tried to stretch but could only weakly manage. His sneering muscles were still as perfect as ever though. "That was a long time fucking, can I go now?"

She collapsed on the couch, heaving a giant sigh. "Boney left me."

Critic's eyes went from disdainful boredom to terror and he suddenly began struggling harder. "What? Why?"

A part of her was enjoying the drama and she lay down with a hand on her face. "I don't know! Something about my parents being bad for me?"

"Huh."

She had a firey urge to rip him to shreds, but her voice came out icey. "What."

She got the feeling that if his hands hadn't been tied down, he would have raised them in defense. "Nothing!  Just nobody's ever done that for me and I didn't think that existed..."

She started to relax, she knew Critic was the right one for her. "I know, it's dumb right?"

Critic carried on. "And my parents were a lot worse than yours anyway so I don't know what he's bitching about."

There was a new feeling she didn't expect, defensiveness. And not the kind where he bashed her fanart either. "Um, sure…"

"I mean I grew up with Ask That Guy, you don't know him but when you have a twin that fucked up you get a fuckload of splash damage." Critic was off in his own little trauma world.

This was the worst idea she ever had. "My brother buried me alive," she said softly. She couldn't remember if her mom had cared or not.

"Like they hated me too. Mom was so pissed that she got pregnant with us and had to stop drinking that she said constantly we were a mistake."

She'd cried first time she had to use birth control because her dad kept loudly telling her mom she should have used the pill instead of having kids.

"Then there was the time I got permission from the doctor to be a boy and they didn't talk to me for a week…" She didn't even have to be in the same room, he'd be remembering all this even if he was alone.

She distinctively remembered thinking as a teenager she could tell her dad that she wanted to cut her hair and shop in the boys section. He'd locked her in her room, and told her with her drinking mother by his side that if she said that again she'd be out on her own.

Devil Boner had been right. But she was in so much pain.

She snapped straight, bringing Critic out of his past. "I-I'm sorry." What she'd done to him? No that was a whole different level of self awareness. But she could at least loosen some rope. "I gotta go."

Critic went back to sneer face, resting his head back. "Good, tell Bill to untie me and don't come back."

She rushed back and hit her number one speed dial, tears starting to break out.

"Wooble you were right please help me."

His voice was soothing after so long away. "I'm coming heart crunch!"


End file.
